Check before you wreck yourself

Body shapes Practice by tabbykat

Sofie, a friend of mine, asked me to join her at a party on Wednesday this week in Atown. It’s called Pré Soirée and was held at a place called Strantwerpen, a typical “beach in the city” location, or as I see it just a desperate attempt to equal the kinds of Nikki Beach.

Upon arrival we noticed only women were walking up the path to the venue. Some dressed casually as myself (ripped jeans and white t-shirt, my standard outfit) and some dressed to the nines. As if they were going to the races or a slightly tacky wedding. Urban dictionary: meaning of “Tacky”: “In bad taste. This usage, as opposed to the physical description, originated in the rural South but has since been adopted for use nationwide and in urban settings. Example: Wearing a translucent blouse and a black bra is downright tacky.”

I can honestly say I counted about 3 arse views during the evening. So word of advice to all women out there, if you decide to wear a skimpy or thin tissue outfit, please, for the love of god, check your backside in the mirror before you leave. Not only arses were on full display though. The number of women who dress as if they have no idea what their body type is, is endless.

  • If you have love handles, love them or hate them, don’t wear a skin tight dress with a thong. For the people reading this who don’t cath my drift it means you have a fleshy lump, then a very tight looking piece of wire pinching in under the love handle, followed by a second fleshy lump.
  • If you decide to wear a one piece suit, make sure you check yourself properly before purchase. If not I promise you, you will end up looking like you’ve sh*t yourself instead of having a nice bum.
  • If your favorite color is pink, don’t wear a pink top, with pink shorts and pink cowboy boots, but moderate! (I’m not taking the mickey here! Sofie can validate) Urban dictionary: meaning of “Taking the mickey”: “Joking, doing something without intent. Making fun of someone or something. A less offensive way of saying taking the piss.”

I think it’s best to dress for your body type then to just dress in what someone behind a desk suddenly decides what’s fashion. Motto of the day: Embrace the body you are given, be proud of how you look and don’t sell yourself cheap (no man is worth it trust me). There’s nothing wrong with a good pair of Spanx or as I’m sure many of you have in your underwear draw, including myself, the classic granny panties!

Red.

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